|You probably think you know about democracy, voting & so on--Well you don't & I'm
gettin' ready to tell you how it really is--how the cow ate the cabbage, so to speak. All
the issue and party people get lined up early & that accounts for about half the vote.
The rest fall into line based on how good they feel the guy is in bed. (You notice I said
"feel" & not "think.") After all, this guy's gonna' be in our homes every night for the
next four years through the TV & people feel like, at least, they want a good fuck out
of the deal. So, if I'm right, & I'm pretty sure I am, the good fuck test brings home
the bacon politically & I'm wondering how it will play out--I've got an old sexometer &
I'm waving the wand over the pictures of some of these guys we are familiar with&
seeing what it says......By the way-- It was 2004 when I did this page & I realize this
page is dated, but maybe there's something enduring about it too.....
|You gotta' keep in mind that whatever
happens, the taxpayers are goin' to get
screwed & the only small favor we can hope
for is that it will be a good fuck.
|On our left, you will observe
a particularly fine specimen
of Taxpayer Americanus
|Its not getting a reading
here--I'm sure its on--Does
it mean this guy has 0 sex
|Former President Ford, I
believe on the right. Nice
looking guy, but sexometer
showing a low reading
here--about 28. Does that
mean good looks but not
|First President Bush--well at least I know
the sexometer is working--getting a
fuckability reading at least...Shit..That
needle is hitting 72--That old Bush was
|JFK here. The needle's jumping
some--64--High moderate. They
say he was sexy till you actually got
fucked by him & realized it wasn't
much fun--Saw sex as totally
pleasuring him. Big dick though.
attractive face, but no
sexual energy going
here--needle down to 28.
|Hey this thing only works for guys.
They say, when Clinton was Gov. of
Arkansas, the staff overheard
Hilliary screaming at him once
"Goddammit Bill--I need to get
fucked more than once a year!!!"
|Miss Piggy for President?
Gee--I don't know about
that....On the other hand...
|A young president
preparing the country for
first initiative of his
|Nixon--I don't know----
The sexometer says,
"Doesn't recognize format."
What does that mean?
|Hey--Who let you in
|Mildly good looking--Never
saw what all the fuss was
|You senators get out--This
is just for the Executive
pretty face but no real
sexual energy there.
Reading of 47--Sort of a C-.
|Oh boy--this machine is going wild--Not
good looking to my way of thinking but
sexual energy at warp speed. We
southerners knew the type from day one
& could have told the country "You've got
some kind of a fuckin' coming,"but these
things are best learned for yourself.
|Oh Bill...Don't you ever think
about anything else!!
|Get this fucking guy
|Hmm...Didn't know he had a
|Cute though...At least I'm
getting a reading on the
|Shit Bill--You've caused this
machine to get some kind of
a short in it. Fuck!
|Kerry--Hmm. This doesn't look too good for him.
Fuckability reading way down in the teens. Only
other one with that kind of reading was Carter.
|Well people--this is how it looks from the machine's standpoint. If everything
else is pretty equal--the "wanna' good fuck out of it" vote is going to go for
Bush and, on that basis, I project Bush the winner!!!
|I am Patroclus & I approve this
|Al Gore--Never saw this
reading before. The machine
says, "Subject abducted by
alien reptilian life form--Format
Shit--better stay away from
|All you agitated queens
leave off writing me angry
letters--I've succeeded in
pissing everyone off & you
don't have a clue as to who
I'm for--Pretty good I
think. And don't blame me
anyhow--I just told you what
the sexometer said.
|Young President Implements
2nd Initiative for American
|President Initiates Major
Program For The People
(You Beginning To Get The
Idea, I Hope?)
|Stop the presses!!! Just got a field report from Mass.--field reports always
count for more than idle speculation.
Has been seen in the restroom & said to be huge & shows clearly, even on TV,
through trousers. Thanks for the report. Score upgraded to 50.